Snake Oil Sales in Scotland

Many of us in the 4.7 million Scots Diaspora in Canada are anxious at the real possibility of Alex Salmond (memorably characterised in a recent newspaper spread as the ‘ultimate snake-oil salesman’) persuading a majority of voting residents to throw off the UK and the nefarious ‘English’, and so consign our long and world-changing shared history to the dustbin.

As one whose heritage reflects both of the founding cultures of modern Scotland, the Gaelic on my Anderson/MacDonald/McKeddie side and the Lowland Scots/Northumbrian Anglian on my Watson-Weatherburn side, I find the “Kilticisation” and “Braveheartism” of the SNP campaign both deceptive and hypocritical. Unlike Ireland, Scotland was never oppressed by the ‘British’ after the Union of the Crowns and many of the regiments that fought for the Hanoverian dynasty during the Jacobite rebellions were Lowland Scottish or Highland clans. There can be little doubt that firstly Tony Blair, with his cynical belief that a Scots Parliament would support Labour, and then Cameron by allowing himself to be thoroughly outfoxed by Salmond, bear a great deal of blame for the coming debacle. Whichever way the vote goes, the hornet’s nest has been stirred up.

Being Ian Anderson

Not long ago a fellow boomer recalled for me that I share a name with a now-legendary rock singer. As he happens to be about my height and age, and we share an accent, I have in the past been asked for my autograph. On several occasions when he and his band were in Town, male store clerks handling my credit card jumped to their own conclusion. Rather than demur, I usually decided to make a fan's day. After all, I did once live through the wall from his road manager at my Weybridge, Surrey condo, and was very excited one time to see the great man's white Roller parked outside. Why not fame by association?

On one of my recent browsing safaris I came across a video curiosity that features a very young and hairy Ian Anderson near the start of his career journey.  Called the 'Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus', it features Anderson's band as first up and his now famous flute-playing position, one leg in the air.

Only last year I went to see the flute star do his jump-up pied-piper act on the Canadian leg of his Thick as a Brick world tour. Even balder than me but in better shape from skipping around the stage, Ian still gets his leg up. When I try being one-legged at yoga class I invariably topple fast.

"You are about to be transported to another age, swinging London in the late sixties" brags the VHS cover blurb. "You’ve heard of Oxford Circus, You’ve heard of Piccadilly Circus, Well this is the Rolling Stones Rock And Roll Circus" boasts Mick Jagger.  For that era, nearby Kings Road in Chelsea was Cool Central when I attended college right at its heart. Hard to believe we were so weird. Were did all that spontaneity go?  Don't you wish you could still leap around like that!

Knowing When a Union is a Good Thing

Seen from afar the lack of enthusiasm for their Union in some of the larger and more successful European countries is hard to countenance. As a holder of an EU (in addition to my Canadian) passport I am concerned that many of those EU citizens who live in and therefore can vote in the Union are either indifferent to its future or actively hostile. An EU passport is a gift that, thanks to British nationality rules, I am able to pass on to my children and grandchildren born in Canada. It is a pity that those like UKIP supporters or Scottish Nationalists who pursue a course likely to result in their loss of EU privileges cannot all spend time living outside the EU for a while to understand what a positive construct such a federation actually can be.

Here in Canada we have a functioning federation coming up for its 150 year anniversary in 2017. Recent election results in Quebec have improved the likelihood that the federation will remain whole for that celebration. Yet we have barriers against inter-provincial trade and movement of labour that might amaze EU citizens. Such commonplaces as consumer taxes, policing, health care delivery, professional certification, and legal systems vary, sometimes considerably, between the members of this vast federation (provinces and territories) in which there are seven time zones. The internal free trade and harmonized rules and goals of the EU are unthinkable here. That said, our multicultural federation functions adequately enough that 35 million people remain eligible for the G7.

When did Society Become so Inconsiderate? Part II

A while back I wrote about Lynne Truss' marvellous little British book 'Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door)'.  

 

Recently I got hold of Charlotte Hays' 2013 American equivalent: 'When Did White Trash Become the New Normal? A Southern Lady Asks the Impertinent Question'.  While Hays' book is very droll, its wry humour is laced with pathos. With regret for a time now passing when manners counted for something, Hays examines what is increasingly becoming the norm in personal behaviour:- 

"Tattoos. Unwed pregnancy. Giving up on shaving…showering…and employment. These used to be signatures of a trashy individual. Now they’re the new norm. What happened to etiquette, hygiene, and self restraint?"

Ms Hays skewers the way the wealthy and the trendy have eagerly adopted the mores of the lowest rung in society. Life is now full of loud and abusive cellphone conversations that curdle one's innards, outrageous and impossible-to-ignore dress sense that makes a nudist lifestyle look appealing, and eating habits in public that Elvis Presley even in his obese late life would have thought gross.

She reminds me as a senior how much I hate kids in shops using my first name without permission, how illiterate TV and radio announcers are becoming, how 'reality TV' focuses on anything but that we can admire in a person, how infrequently we ever get offered a seat in a crowded waiting room or bus any more, and how little respect the wisdom of age gets.

 

She concludes: 'If we are ever to slay the beast of White Trash Normal, we must regain the sensibility that says being a gentleman, or a lady, is the most important thing we can achieve.'  Amen.